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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801200">Waking Up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anneyy/pseuds/yikesthisisterrible'>yikesthisisterrible (Anneyy)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>robrae week 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Titans (Animated Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Childhood Trauma, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Robin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Psychological Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:48:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anneyy/pseuds/yikesthisisterrible</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Flashes of lights. Beads of sweat. Images that he did not want to see.</p><p>Part 5 of RobRae Week 2020! </p><p>4/23: Nightmare</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dick Grayson/Raven, Robin/Raven, Robrae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>robrae week 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Waking Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi, here's my entry for RobRae week day 5! </p><p>disclaimer: not mine</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Robin exhaled breath out, running his hand through his damp hair as he sat down on his desk. Easing his chair forward, he cupped his head, trying to erase the tiredness that resided within him. He gazed forward, countless papers limply stuck up onto the wall, the article of Slade piercing through his thoughts.</p><p>He recalled countless nights spent eyeing the articles, trying to run down leads on the whereabouts of him. <em> He </em>knew that he was out there but he just couldn’t find it. Endless nights of coffee, empty leads, constant thinking that led him nowhere. </p><p>And now, he was staring at the evidence that drove him to near insanity. </p><p>Robin knew it was foolish not to take it down, to not take down the countless articles plastered on his walls. They were just...sitting there, hanging loosely on the wall for him to witness, to remind him of the villain that pushed him to his limits. Taking it down would just mean they were another case, that they meant nothing to him. Just something that could be shoved into a box, waiting for the dust to settle on the papers. </p><p>He sighed, pushing himself up from his chair and clicked the desk lamp shut. The room now covered in darkness, easing around his figure. His bedside digital clock was the only thing illuminated in his room. It read midnight, the date lining itself at the bottom. </p><p>
  <em> April 7th 2019 </em>
</p><p>
  <em> April 7th. </em>
</p><p>“Dammit.” He muttered underneath his breath, he had always been so careful with his dates. Especially when it came to April. The digital clock blinked, moving forwards as his eyes focused on the date that haunted his vision. He traced the scar on his wrist, remembering where the cables had clipped him that night at the circus. Robin eased his eyes closed as he felt the memory ring in his mind. He pushed it down, trying to bury the memory that had plagued his mind for so many years. </p><p>As he walked over to his bed and placed himself underneath the covers, he felt the emotions of that night resurface as he feebly tried to push it down into the pits of his stomach. Robin peeled the mask of his face, throwing it to the side. He felt darkness grasp onto his consciousness, pulling him into the depths of the unknown, he felt himself trying to fight it to no avail, feeling himself slip into the darkness with no wish to wake up. </p><hr/><p>[]</p><p>He felt himself in the middle of a circus, blinding lights raining down on him as he brought his hands up to block the light. He saw the crowd surrounding them, whispering, awing, speaking as they pointed at acrobats up on the rafters. He watched as his parents dove across the gap, flawlessly grasping onto the swing that separated from the ground. </p><p>Robin watched as his father grabbed onto his mother, watching, hoping that it wouldn’t happen. </p><p>Hoping his parents wouldn’t plunge to their death. </p><p>He heard the metal cabling snapped off the poles, sprawling through the air with nothing to grab on. His eyes locked onto the sight of his parents, watching his parents scream his name before falling limply onto the ground, their beady lifeless eyes looking at him. Blood seeped onto the ground as their bodies laid cold. He dropped onto his knees, tears streaming down his eyes as he wept for his parents. </p><p>“What a pity…” He heard someone say, “What a pity, they did make for good, good parents. Didn’t they Robin?”</p><p>Robin looked up, his tears still streaming down his face. His heart aching for his parents to come back to life. The scene shifted, feeling the dark and cold of Titan’s tower haunting his nightmares, and he felt himself being forced onto his feet being met with the mask of Slade. “Hello again Robin, pleased to see me?” He let out a shallow laugh, turning two screws in his hands. </p><p>Robin opened his mouth to snarl at his enemy, but he found himself unable to reach for words. He watched as Slade turned the screws in his hand, making a metallic sound every time it collided. The sound making him squirm in the restraints he found himself in. </p><p>“Now now Robin, no need to be violent.” He voiced, circling him. “I only did what I had to, to make you who you are today.”</p><p>Robin shook his head, eyeing him through the mask as Slade taunted him with the sound of the screws that killed his parents. He writhed within the restraints, desperate to be free. </p><p>“Don’t worry Robin, you’ll be free soon.” Slade tormented. “Soon.” </p><p>Robin watched as the scene melted away, the feeling of heat down his back as his vision filled with flame. The rubble on the ground torn up, rocks and glass shattered on the floor and the smell of iron filling the air as Trigon sat on Titan’s tower. He heard his friends attacking the demon, flinging his head over, he watched as his friends attempted to proceed to attack. He ran over, trying to help them only to watch Starfire getting impaled with a metal rod, her body rolling onto the floor as she coughed up blood. He then watched as Beast Boy got grabbed by the tail of his T-Rex, before being slammed onto the concrete floor, snapping his neck. He flinched, feeling his heartbeat rapidly in his chest as anger brewed in the pits of his stomach. He turned to watch Cyborg, trying to run over to help his friend. As he ran over he gaped at the scene. Watching Cyborg being thrown into the sea of lava, killing him. </p><p>Robin felt his heart quiver as he dropped to his knees, letting out a heart-wrenching sob. The images of his friends being slaughtered burned into his mind. </p><p>“Father, please-” Robin heard Raven speak. He looked up, quick to wipe the salty tears of his face. He watched as Raven stood far away from him, her purple hair waving behind her.  </p><p>“You live. My daughter.” Trigon boomed. “You surprise me.” Robin watched as Trigon summoned his minions from the depths of the lava, commanding them towards Raven. He quickly ran towards her, hoping to try and help her but as he reached her, he watched them swarm her. He heard her attempt her chant, but even then it was too weak to combat them. He ran, his muscles heaving as he got to her body, lying on the stone ground. </p><p>“Raven.” He whispered. Watching as her eyes found his, cradling her body close to her chest, begging with death to let her live. “Raven.” He whispered hoarsely, “Stay, please, stay.” </p><p>“You… were… too… late… Robin…” She voiced, raspily, bringing her hand to touch his face. “Where were you? You could’ve saved… us.” </p><p>Robin felt her body go limp in his arms, tears filling his eyes once again as he brought her close to him. He watched as the life left her purple eyes, as she lay in his arms. He felt anger boil in his chest, kissing her forehead before closing her eyes in solace. Carefully placing her body down, he let out a scream, his heart pounding in his chest as he slammed his fist into the ground. His fist throbbed in hot, searing pain but all he could do was ignore it. </p><p>“I see you have lived, Human.” Trigon bellowed, “Not for long.” He commanded his demons to re-emerge from the lava, swarming Robin. He felt the blinding hot feeling of fire burning in his body, the searing pain that rang through his body as he tried to defend himself against the creatures that attacked him. He looked up as Trigon watched towards him, the lava crashing onto the stone that lay on the coastline, he gazed at Trigon's red, burning eyes watching as he sent a beam of searing red towards him, his skin couldn’t even register the pain as white-blinding pain filled his senses, dropping him to his knees. </p><p>Dead. </p><p>Robin’s eyes snapped open, beads of sweat pouring from his face as he heartbeat profusely in his chest. He pulled the sheets off his sweat laced body, his hands shaking as he pushed himself up from the bed. He could still feel the heat sticking to his back, and the images of his parents falling to their death rang in his ear. “Dammit!” He swore, punching the wall in anger. He ran his hair through his sweat soaked hair. His shallow breaths began to dissipate, replacing it with the feeling of emptiness, with only the throbbing of his hand to keep him from feeling nothing. He let out an angry grunt, slamming his hand onto the wall, feeling the pain ring in his chest from everything that has happened in his life. </p><p>Robin reached for a jacket, trying to get rid of the pain that lingered from the nightmare he had witnessed. </p><p>Trying to erase the memories. </p><p>He clenched his fist into a ball, exhaling breath to try and calm his anger. He stuffed his hands into his jacket pocket, as he exited his room. He took the stairs two at a time and pried the roof’s metal door open. He felt the breeze brush against his sweat-filled face, calming down his erratic breaths. He watched as the moon began to descend into the night sky. </p><p>He ran his hand through his hair again, eyes filling with unshed tears as he leaned onto the wall of the roof’s door. Trying to calm his heart down, the pain coursing through his veins. Every time he closed his eyes he could see everything he didn’t want to see. </p><p>He heard the roof door gently creak open, and he refused to look at who had come up. He didn’t want them being dragged into his problems. They were his to carry. Nobody could help him but himself. Robin watched as a cloaked figure walked out, peering around. He turned away, not wishing to be seen by the Empath. </p><p>“Robin.” She voiced softly. “I know you’re there.” </p><p>He refused to move, covering his face with his hands. Robin heard her footsteps walk towards her, the silent clicking of her shoes echoing off the concrete and into the night. He felt her shadow cast upon him, he looked up to see her purple eyes looking at him, studying his pained expression on his face. </p><p>“I’m so sorry Robin,” Raven said, walking up next to him. “I’m so sorry.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched at her touch, before relaxing underneath her grip. </p><p>“Did yo-,” His voice came out hoarse. “-Did you feel it? The nightmare?” </p><p>She nodded. “I felt it… I… I saw bits of it too.” </p><p>“Then you know what happened?”</p><p>She nodded again. “I’m so sorry Robin.” </p><p>“I’m fine.” He croaked out, “You can go back to bed.” </p><p>“Robin, you’re not okay.” </p><p>He stiffened slightly at her words, refusing to meet her gaze. “I will be okay.” </p><p>“I know there’s something wrong… We have a bond, remember?” She allowed for her shoulder to lean against the wall, her eyes running over his body. “It was one of the worst ones I’ve felt.”</p><p>Robin looked at her, his pained eyes filling with unshed tears. “It was so bad..” He hoarsely said. “Really bad.” </p><p>She looked at him, gently squeezing his shoulder trying to reassure him. “I’m sorry that happened.”</p><p>“I saw them again,” he whispered, “I saw <em> everything </em>. Everyone, I-I… I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t escape.” Robin wiped away the forming tears. “I saw them again Rae, my pare-” He choked back a sob, looking down at his shaking hand. “I saw everything I didn’t want to see.” </p><p>She leaned towards him, taking her hands off his shoulder and reaching for his hand. Holding it within hers. He could feel her warmth from her body emanating into his hands. Robin looked at her, before tearing his pained gaze away from her. “You know what it’s like.” He muttered.  “I know you’ve seen what I’ve seen… <em> felt </em> what I felt.” </p><p>“They might be similar, but they are not the same.” She replied, “No trauma is ever the same.” Raven looked inched closer to him, wanting him to feel her presence. “But, I understand… I understand what you’re feeling.” </p><p>“I know,” Robin said. “I hate those kinds of nightmares… I feel so helpless. It wouldn’t stop, nothing would stop and… and I couldn’t- I couldn’t do <em> anything </em>.” He ran his hand through his soft hair, his breathing and heart rate calming down to a steady pace. “The memories I saw… the things I saw, I’ll never forget it.” He shook his head, looking out onto the horizon. “Today’s the day they got killed.” </p><p>“I know.” She said, gently squeezing his hand in reassurance. “I’m sorry that happened. You deserved better.” </p><p>“Maybe.” He voiced. “I’ll never forget that day, every time I think of them, think of anything… they haunt me. I can’t forget it.” Robin looked at her attentive purple eyes. She was there, listening to him… talk. Watching him grieve, mourn. He felt a pang of guilt run through his chest, he was taking up her time as she watched him agonize over something that happened years ago.</p><p>“You don’t deserve to be alone… not today.” Raven said, looking at him. “Or any day.” </p><p>Robin pried his gaze away, heaving a sigh into the autumn night. “I hate today. This date… it reminds me of everything that happened. The day I became me.” He pulled his hand away from her grasp, tracing the area of where her hand was on his. He turned away, crossing his arms across his chest as he walked towards the roof’s door. He felt a breeze sweep over his figure, his hair being gathered up by the air around him. “It happened, and all I do is want to forget it. I don’t want to remember what happened to them, I don’t want to remember anything that happened. Does that make me a bad person? For wanting to forget the memory of them?”  </p><p>“Robin… You can’t change the past. It happened.” Raven said, “What happened then, what happened in that circus, it made you who you are. And even though you want to erase it, you can’t. It happened, and you can’t change it.” She took a breath, taking a few steps towards him, gently turning him to face her. “It doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting to forget what happened to you, it makes you human.” </p><p>“I don’t know how to live with everything that’s happened… especially on dates like this.” </p><p>“You don’t have to do it alone. We’re all here for you… I’m here for you.” Raven softly replied. “I’m here for you, nightmare or no nightmare.” </p><p>Robin nodded gently, looking up at her with his tear-stained face. His fatigued eyes looked at her, smiling slightly. Raven stepped forwards and gently wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He exhaled a small breath, before wrapping his arms around her small figure, feeling her gentle heartbeat on his chest. </p><p>It was comfortable. A feeling of safety in a world filled with uncertainty. And for a moment he forgot everything that pervaded him, he forgot all the worries that he carried on his shoulders. He forgot what it was like to<em> feel. </em> </p><p>He felt <em>safe</em>. Safe within her arms, and he knew that she was his home. Even if he wasn’t hers. </p><p>[]</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thoughts?</p><p>i definitely did take some liberty on the date of his parent's death, so apologies if it's not accurate ;-;.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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